tonight i ran into wal-mart to grab a couple of things. as i was meandering in the back of the store, i overheard an official wal-mart associate meeting being held next to the bathroom. about a dozen people flocked together in the blue vests, listening to a man practically dancing in the middle of them.
“sales were up!” he screamed.
the vested ones clapped half-heartedly.
“let’s continue to do our best!” he cheered.
more sporadic claps.
“let’s close our meeting with our new cheer!” he called.
the gray-haired vested woman nearest to me moaned.
“give me a W!” he demanded, sounding like an over-eager contestant on wheel of fortune.
they give him the consonant . . . weakly.
“i can’t hear you!”
“W!”
they proceed to spell the entire store’s name, which took about 4 tries, due to the manager’s inability to hear his employees.
“and that spells . . . “
“wal-mart.”
“that’s right! and who’s wal-mart is this?”
silence.
“who’s wal-mart is this?” he asked again, prodding a little more with his voice.
still no response.
“it’s your wal-mart!”
“it’s our wal-mart.”
the vested ones dispersed, their yellow smiley-face buttons clinking.
“we’ll keep working on that!” the man called after them.
one worker passed me at that point. she was rolling her eyes.
the man grabbed his clipboard from off of the lay-away counter, marking something off of a list as he passed by. i heard him attempt to encourage himself as he whispered under his breath,
“well, that was better than last week!”
i grabbed my item off the shelf, smirking, wishing that i had been there a week earlier.
the grey-haired vested one rung me up. as i swiped my card, i looked at her and said, “give me a w.”
she laughed, handed me my receipt, and said,
“if that man don’t stop himself, we all gonna give him a w.”
