listened to a sermon last night as i was trying to go to sleep. the sermon, called “but God . . . when you’re feeling in the dark” was not just momentarily appropriate– as i was laying on my bed in an utterly black room– but metaphorically appropriate as well.
it was one of those gigantic hit-the-nail-on-the-head sermons. those odd ones where you wonder if the preacher somehow read a secret biography of your life and manufactured an appropriate outline dealing with your thoughts and where you are. but considering that this pastor doesn’t even know me, and the sermon was originally preached several months ago–before i had the thoughts, or circumstancially arrived in my life where i am– i know it’s more than happenstance or human manipulation.
it’s God, taking care of me. reminding me of truths about Himself.
the sermon mentions that sometimes we wish God would work “bigger” for us like He did in the Testaments . . . or like He chooses to work in other people’s lives. i don’t know about you, but i relate to that. sometimes i do feel like it would take a miracle for me to sense God’s hand in my life right now . . . or a big neon sign to know He’s working . . .
but even when there’s seeming silence on God’s end; when i find myself without my miracle or restlessly placard-less, He is there . . . providing a loving lock on my life.
okay . . . so sometimes, i can’t see this lock; but it is never because it isn’t there.
it’s just because, right now, at this moment, i happen to be in the dark.
listen to the sermon yourself. good stuff . . . http://www.graceky.org/sermons/20080413.mp3
_______________
“behold, i go forward, but He is not there, and backward, but i do not perceive Him; on the left hand when He is working, i do not behold Him; He turns to the right hand, but i do not see Him.
but God, He knows the way that i take; when He has tried me, i shall come out as gold.
my foot has held fast to his steps; i have kept His word and have not turned aside. i have not departed from the commandment of His lips; i have treasured the words of His mouth more than my portion of food.
but He is unchangeable, and who can turn Him back? what He desires, that He does. for He will complete what He appoints for me, and many such things are in His mind.
therefore, i am terrified at His presence; when i consider, i am in dread of Him.
God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me;
yet i am not silenced because of the darkness, nor because thick darkness covers my face.” job 23:8-17
