some thoughts: seventy times seven July 22, 2007

over the past week, i have been surprised twice by the same question:

“forgive me?”

two of my friends approached me at separate times with separate reasons to ask for the same thing.

what is so odd is that, with both, i never felt wronged. so forgiveness was relatively easy. each time i noticed relief on their part, and both said something along the lines of “i just didn’t want this to be between us” or “i didn’t want to go away with this unsettled.” to me, everything was fine.

forgiveness is such an interesting concept. as Christians, we should give freely, not only because we are “required” to, but because each time, we are able to mimic–in a minute way–what Christ has done in an infinite degree for us.

but let’s be honest.

forgiveness isn’t always easy.

if only it was simple as saying “yes.” (and sometimes that seems impossible.)

if only there was a magic wand to wave and erase memories.

if only our feelings were detachable.

sometimes asking for forgiveness seems to be asking too much.

question: how much is an only Son?

we must always forgive, no matter how much we forgive . . . seventy times seven, even . . .

that leads me to a conversation i had with my jr high girls this past week at daycamp. the subject of forgiveness had come up– can’t remember how– but one of the girls asked,

“what would you do if your husband cheated on you?”

lorna (the other girl leader) and i responded with the same answer:

“forgive him.”

“and what if he did it again? what would you do?”

“forgive him.”

they seemed astonished. and to be honest, lorna and i felt the heaviness of our answer. even Christians seem astonished when “extreme” forgiveness is granted.

forgiveness there comes with a very hefty price tag.

question: how much did the sin of the world cost?

i don’t know about anyone else, but i’m pretty sure that i have exceeded my seventy-times-seven sin quota before God.

but God, i’m pretty sure, isn’t keeping count.

when being asked to forgive, i got the opportunity to think about what i need to ask forgiveness for. in response to forgiving, i have asked for forgiveness, too.

i have been challenged to not let the “little things” interfere with the fellowship of my friends and family. my relationship with them is too valuable for that. however, the challenge doesn’t stop there.

i realized that i have been minimizing my relationship with God by allowing “small” sins to interfere with my fellowship with my Father. a bad attitude at the beginning of the day i write off with, “i’m not a morning person.” the truth of the matter is, my sanctification doesn’t start past 10:07 in the morning– it starts before my feet hit the floor at 6.

i’m to honor Christ stuck in traffic.

i’m to honor Christ when my head is throbbing.

i’m to honor Christ when others hurt me more than i think they should. when i can’ excuse back-stabbing for a bad day. or when i’m cheated against. or lied to. or fill-in-the-blank.

it seems like honoring Christ is inseparable from forgiveness– asking and receiving, and us granting it ourselves.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

singing a new song . . . July 15, 2007

a couple of friends and i are getting a song together to sing/play in church.  it’s a new arrangement and melody of “Jesus, I come” for bass and soprano.  i know i have sung the song several times throughout my churched years.  i’m not sure why i never really noticed the words before, considering i really try to focus on those things.  (i think the old tune might rush through the lyrics too much . . .)  this new arrangement supports and highlights the text so well that the communication of the message is so much clearer.

 

for those who aren’t familiar or never really noticed the words, here they are:

 

out of my bondage, sorrow and night,

into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,

out of my sickness, into Thy health,

out of my want and into Thy wealth,

out of my sin and into Thyself,

Jesus, i come to Thee.

 

out of my shameful failure and loss,

into the glorious gain of Thy cross,

out of earth’s sorrows, into Thy balm,

out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,

out of distress to jubilant psalm,

Jesus, I come to Thee.

 

out of the fear and dread of the tomb,

into the joy and light of Thy home,

out of the  depths of ruin untold,

into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,

ever Thy glorious face to behold.

Jesus, I come to Thee.

jelly beans and a mother’s surprise July 15, 2007

once upon a time, at barnes and noble, i happened upon a box of bertie bott’s every flavor beans. seeing them, i thought about the multitude of fun i could have with them. thus, i bought them. i justified the purchase with three main arguments: 1) they were 50% off, 2) my sister was with me, she wanted them too, and i decided to humor her, and 3) i only had $3 left on a gift card and wanted to finish it out. (the combination of the first and third arguments were the most convincing, if it weren’t for melissa’s pleading. )

with mischief in our hearts, melissa and i thought of all the potential fun these vile pieces of candy would produce. we decided to try a couple to appease our consciences. (we couldn’t very well fool others into have the beans if we didn’t at least subject ourselves.) she had pickle, which would have been so bad, except we figured out it was the butter’n'bread kind. she hates those.

i was a little more daring and tried earthworm. it wasn’t too terrible. it was actually kinda sweet . . . with the aftertaste of dirt.

poor dad. when he asked what kind of jelly beans they were, and we said jelly belly — they are! — he willing took the flavor that looked like tootie fruitie.

let’s just say . . . it wasn’t.

well, after dad stopped gagging and laughing (melissa and i were laughing so hard, we started gagging, so it’s almost equal), i placed the beans on the end table, innocently forgetting about them.

i forgot they were there when i went to bed.

i forgot they were there when i went to work.

but i remembered they were there when i came back.

i walked in the front door.  i noticed my mother looking at me, her eyes narrowing.

“can i ask you a question?”

(for those of you who know my mother, or have a mother like my mother, when she asks that question, it is rarely a good thing.)

“ummm . . .”

“what in the world kind of jelly beans are those?”

hee hee.

turns out, she was sitting in the recliner, was hit with the munchies, and saw my innocent candies sitting next to her.  she chose what she thought to be pina collada, or perhaps popcorn.

nope.

rotten egg.  (a flavor i couldn’t bring myself to sample.)

i have one regret, and it’s not that i would have remembered to put my belongings away . . .

it was that i was at work instead of in the living room when she decided to help herself to a sample . . .

a random smack on the sidewalk . . . July 3, 2007

“do you want to get it, or shall i?”

i found myself asking this question to a coworker on the sidewalk at about . . . oh . . . 5:02 pm.

i was referring to the mosquito feasting on alan’s forehead.

after the question was asked, i assumed that he decided to take care of the situation himself– seeing as he began smacking himself repeatedly above the brow.

i’m not quite sure how he missed the thing, considering he practically concussed himself.

when he leaned his 6′4” frame my direction, face first, i took that as my cue for action.

i lined up my hand . . .

whammo!  smack on the forehead!

it was then that, for dramatic effect, alan flew backwards, and began yelling: “i’m healed!  i’m healed!  i’ve seen the light!”

needless to say, the parents waiting in the carline to pick up their kids probably began to think twice about leaving their non-charasmatic children in our care. 

(personally, i would have given anything to be a pedestrian on the sidewalk at that moment . . . this crazy man starts hitting himself in the face, a woman walks up, smacks him on the head, and he has a “faith” moment.  hil-ar-i-ous!)